The past three weeks have torn at my emotions: mourning the death of my mother’s cousin who was like a sister to her but Mom was unable to attend the funeral, seeing young, happy pictures of my parents in the bridal party at my aunt and uncle's 60th anniversary party yet Mom was missing from this event, feeling my parents’ big old house shake and fearing it was falling down since we never expected an earthquake, preparing for hurricanes, dealing with power down and water up in two basements, trying to contain and cure Mom’s pinkeye, training a new weekend caregiver and unexpectedly becoming Mom’s primary caregiver for four 12-hour days and five half days.
I recognize I cannot control events, the weather or even when my eyes flood and my voice breaks. Sometimes this sense of powerlessness makes me want to find a support group and connect with other caregivers, both to share with people who understand some of my experiences and to learn from them and their perspectives.
Yet I have hesitated to do more than get a schedule of local Alzheimer’s support groups. Maybe I am reluctant to make a time commitment. since too often my plans get overruled by circumstances. Maybe I don’t really want to know what the future holds. Maybe such a group will require more emotional energy than I have.
Have you been in a support group—particularly one dealing with a medical or end-of-life issue? Did you meet in person? Chat online? I would appreciate insights about the value of such groups or recommendations about where to go. I look forward to your comments!
